First, watch this video that explains the process that Disney Child Star Creation Labs goes through to create their stars (and thank you Stooph for posting this on your blog for me to find and steal and exploit on my own):
Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars
Now, I gotta say that The Onion is one brilliant little site. I hardly ever check it, but when I do it is always so clever and generally quite funny. It is kind of sad that I far prefer fake news to the real stuff. Ah well.