Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Information regarding getting your while back

The following exceptions apply to Twenty Mule Team's guarantee to "be worth your while or your while back!":

1. All while's may only be redeemed in person and by appointment

2. All while's will be redeemed in the form of make-outs with John

3. No while's may be redeemed by non-humans or human males

4. No while's will be redeemed by human females under the age of 18 or over the age of 65

5. No while's may be redeemed by human females who are even remotely related to John (I'll be checking your pedigree)

6. All redeemed while's are guaranteed to be worth your while, or your while back!

7. John retains the right to refuse redemption of while's to anyone for whatever reason he sees fit

Monday, April 17, 2006

Papa's Poem Corner Episode 21: Gerald Ford It... That's What I Always Say...

Have you ever been physically alone in a room, but you know that you're not alone? Or like, you're out in nature and there is no one around for hundreds of miles, and yet you feel someone's presence and you know that there is something more there? It's probably a little parasitic fetus that got stuck inside of you while you were still in the womb. Fetus in Fetu is what they call it. Crazy stuff. Think of it as one twin getting "sucked up" or enveloped into the other while still in the early stages of development. The outer fetus becomes dominant and continues to grow in a generally normal manner. The inner fetus, however, stops developing normally and mooches off of the first. The child will be born and grow and no one will know until the inner fetus (or "fetus in fetu" as it is more scientifically or perhaps medically known) grows big enough that it starts to show.

Fetus in Fetu

Hey Gary. Hey John.
What you gonna do today?
I was thinking of going to the park to play.
Do you want to come, too? We can take the sleigh.
I don't know, you ate something bad yesterday...
Probably the tuna salad,
NO! It was the Shar pei...
Wait... I didn't want that, I was happily on my way
when YOU saw that doggy and yelling did say,
and I like your slave, did humbly obey...
I'm sorry, you know how I get at that time of the day.
It's not easy to be a belly dweller. Parlay.
I understand, just don't blame me for you ways.
Fair enough. So where does that leave us? To the park?
Yes, to play.

This was a real conversation that took place between Gary and me last Wednesday evening. Afterwards, I thought, "Wow, Gary has a LOT of potential as a poet. It's too bad that he has only 2% of the required cells needed to survive on his own!" Hahahahaha! Oh man... heh heh heh... (Gary hates it when I say that...)

Monday, March 20, 2006

Papa's Poem Corner Connection: You've Broken Our Hearts, Dear George...

This poem was written for a different website (one VERY secret and inaccessible to the naked eye or un-invited--www.myfamily.com: The Ken and Gladys Dyal Infiltration). It came in response to something my oldest sister wrote. She grew up in a different era than many from my generation did. In her day, there was a man that was more sex symbol than mortal and whose voice brought kings and rulers to their knees. That man was George Michael.
Old Georgie-Pants had some secrets, though. The dark side of George broke my sister's heart and for that... this poem was begotten.

Ode to George--from the perspective of the bleeding cup whose heart is Jen's

Man of supposed destiny in many a woman's dreams,
Un-closet-ed truth: he's not what he seems.
Fair maidens left reeling: ever only just friends.
No chance for love-future; he only likes mens.

The cries of a thousand straight men hit our ears,
"We've been telling you this; for years now, FOR YEARS!"
But a woman's judgment at times may be blind,
when before her stands and sings a man oh so fine.

For years you have split asunder foul noise,
with your soothing beautiful broke-back voice.
Yet, I bid thee farewell dear George--I move on.
In my heart no longer will I carry your song.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Papa's Poem Corner Episode 20: Manpanions!!!!!!!!!

Wow. Once again I find myself commenting on how much time has passed since last I wrote. Sadly, the only reason why this time is that I forgot. That is so pathetic. To think I would forget about something that brings me this much joy?! Fear not though friends, I won't sit here and publicly berate myself for my folly, cause that's not what this site is about. It's about love, and sharing, and self discovery, and friendship, and mountains, and cattle, and being off by yourself for a really long time with a guy and some cattle and the self discovery that takes place through friendship and sharing and how sometimes it all grows into so much more: love. Broke Back Blog.

Broke Back Haiku

We cowboys wear boots,
and tight little pants with chaps.
Mmm... gotsta hit that...

Ancient Japanese art mixed with modern homofilm. Is there any gap I can't bridge?