Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I'm Sad

I just realized that a decent number of people I know have had some exciting controversy on their blogs. They've had angry people get on there and say contentious things, while I haven't been blessed with ANY of that. All I get are nice comments. So, something has to change.

I'm going to spend the next few minutes saying controversial things on here and then prepare for the violent blow back. Oh man am I excited! Ready?

- I'm not joining Obama's civilian "task" force, even if the perks are too good to pass up.
- William Shatner was the worst Captain Kirk EVER!
- Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself, nor did Courtney Love kill him--he killed Courtney Love, performed a brilliant surgery to make her look like him, and then pretended to be Courtney Love. If we dig up "his" grave all of this will be confirmed.
- Ozzy Osbourne SUCKS! (I'm stealing that one from Steven and taking it further than he was willing to go.)
- Kids SUCK at drawing. They are terrible.
- I like Asians. That is not very controversial, but what can I say? I like 'em. They are always so nice to me.
- Unions are leading our nation directly into socialism. While they started out with a good purpose, they are choking our businesses and industries to death. Current problems with the Big 3 auto companies and their need for a bailout? Unions are to blame. Down with 'em!
- Bush is the best shoe-dodging president our nation has ever seen and that in and of itself makes him a worthy leader.

Alright. Something in there has got to piss somebody off. Bring it on.

12 comments:

heather said...

WHAT!!! You sayin' that my kids drawnings suck! What fool...now you're gonna get it...haha jk
I actually don't have anything mean to say b/c there is some truth to what you just stated in all of your points...my opinion of course. Except for the last one, he wasn't too bad, but he wasn't the greatest.

Matt said...

That was fun to read. Can I take a turn?

Children are to blame for all the wars in history.

Matt said...

I like the national anthem, but it could use an F word or 2.

hello, my name is amber. said...

i won't tell taylor that you think his drawings suck. that will just be our secret.

love this post! i had some drama/controversy on my blog last month + it was awesome. NOT. but the supportive comments made up for it. :)

good times.

Jennifer said...

Well this Asian is NOT nice. William Shatner is heaven's gift to this little union-leading, task-force loving, Ozzy-sympathizing, shoe-throwing, global-warming advocating, bailout-supporting, Filipino. But the new Courtney Love looks too much like Kurt Cobain--no question they are one in the same.

Misty Barrett said...

Heh. Blog controversy envy. Heh heh.

Alex Dye said...

"I like Asians. That is not very controversial, but what can I say? I like 'em. They are always so nice to me."

I'm gonna take a shot at this one!

This is.. umm.. some kind of.. secret racism..! Yeah! You see, you shouldn't say you "like" one particular race more than any other particular race. It's the EXACT SAME THING as saying you DON'T like every other race, therefore, you are racist, sir.

Out-controversy THAT!

Matt said...

Terrorists made the snow.

Frown Like A Thunderstorm said...

I don't think you've heard all the perks John. Obama's task force has the following perks: Monthly company retreats to the Obama's cabin in the Hamptons, "Water Pistol Day" (self-explanatory), the Retirement Age is dropped to 45, the first 1 Million wounds emanating from participation in the force are treated for free....the list goes on...

becca said...

Your breath is bad!

elopingcamel said...

Haha! You guys are awesome. That was just the Holiday Controversial Cheer I needed (except for the bad breath thing. My dentist says it is a genetic thing, so there is not much I can do about it).

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